But I Do Love You
by Akumu Senshi
Summary: Song fic to Leanne Rimes song - but i do love you, shounen ai 1+2, kinda depressing from Heero's POV, then cute fluff a the end. Please read. -Akumu


Disclaimer- (picks up her magic 8 ball) Akumu: Do I own Gundam Wing? Magic 8 ball: Absolutely not. Akumu: Will I EVER own Gundam Wing? Magic 8 ball: Don't bet on it. Akumu: See the magic 8 ball tells no lies! Does Wufei love me? Magic 8 ball: A definite yes. Akumu: HA! (Glomps Wu-babe!) Just cos I don't own him doesn't mean he doesn't love me!  
  
Warnings/Notes- There's shounen ai(don't like- leave), 1+2, and some fluff, with a lonely depressive Heero (makes you wanna cuddle him don't it?) though I don't actually say its him, but you can easily work it out. This is all from his POV. He may seem a bit OOC but I don't think it really is. Oh yeah this is a song fic to Leann Rimes - but I do love you. There's a part that's played twice, but I only use it once cos it fits better with the fic. Okay now I hope you like this I wrote it last night, and typed it just now. I think that's it, so, yeah enjoy- Akumu  
  
Author: Akumu Senshi  
  
Title: But I do love you  
  
I rolled over again, eyes clamped shut in a great attempt to fall asleep. I'd even gone to bed early- 10.00, and I still couldn't sleep. All I felt was a burning yet ice-cold feeling inside of me, that I couldn't get rid of. Just like inside my head his smiling face is there, the image etched so deeply in to my mind that I see nothing else.  
  
In all my years of training, I was never prepared to endure such emotional pain. The pain of emptiness, loneliness, longing. Well not entire emptiness, in a way I'm not empty at all, and I really am full. Full of the painful feeling of loneliness. The worst thing is I cant block it, everything I ever had to think about had been sealed away, and my mind has been flooded with this pain to such a degree it had been paralysed, so much so that it is all I see. There is so much else, so many other things I could think about, but no, I try so hard, but I cant remember any of it. Its all forgotten, all there is in my mind is his face, and the pain of being alone tonight.  
  
My eyes snap open, and I quickly get out from my bed, throwing on a pain of jeans and a denim jacket to go over my green tank top. As I reach the door I slip on my oh so familiar trainers then head out the door, outside. I hope a walk will clear my thoughts so I can sleep, or at least deem me so tired that I can no longer think.  
  
As I left I notice the red flashing digits of a clock reading, '2.17'. 'Great an early morning stroll.' I though sarcastically, my mind still retaining its sense of dry humour. As I stepped outside I groaned inwardly- it was raining too, just my luck. Well maybe it'd help me to clear my thoughts. Besides there was nothing wrong with the rain, I just didn't like walking around in it al 2.20 in the morning. On my own, that is.  
  
# I don't like to be alone at night  
  
And I don't like to hear I'm wrong when I'm right  
  
And I don't like to have the rain on my shoes  
  
But I do love you  
  
But I do love you #  
  
Putting my hands in my jean pockets I scuffed my feet as I walked down the bath. Sure I always went on solo missions, but it didn't matter to me when I was on one. I usually didn't think anything other than the mission, my mind had no free time to wander so it didn't, I focused on the mission, got it done then came back to a safe house or something and relaxed a little. I often stayed with at least one of the other pilots, most often it was him. He was always teasing me, and trying to get me involved with things, which did gradually work. Then we became close, so close that he is the reason for the pain, the loneliness I am feeling now.  
  
Now he has gone away on a mission I'm stuck all alone. I used to like it best that way, but now I cant stand it. He's merely been gone three days. Kami I miss him, everything's so cold, and dull, and so very quiet without him. I know I'm not as cold as I used to be, but inside I feel as cold as ice. When I think about it, he's like my blanket, he's what I need to stay warm, and also to give me comfort so I no longer feel alone. Oh but no, he's not here. I'm out here in the dark, with the grey sky, walking in the rain, in a state that could almost be described as depressive, trying to numb the pain.  
  
#I don't like to see the sky painted grey  
  
And I don't like when; nothing's going my way  
  
And I don't like to be the one with the blues  
  
But I do love you  
  
But I do love you#  
  
I'm not actually sure who supports who, maybe we play equal parts, but for different things. He listens to me when I need to talk, then reassures me, holding me as he tells me its okay, that everything's going to be alright, and he'll still be holding me when it does.  
  
Yet I am the one who holds him through the night. I hold him through all his nightmares of a traumatic childhood, and war ridden days, I'll sooth him as he cries for all he's lost. These nightmares lessen now, now his dreams are far sweeter, as I hold him he now seems to know I'm there, now even in his subconscious he acknowledges my presence, so in his dreams he's not alone, so they are easier to fight or push away on the most part.  
  
These thoughts and memories are my truth, that I'm not always alone. They helped me through two nights, now they are not enough. I'm suffocating in longing, longing to be held in strong arms. I'd even stand right here in the rain and smile, if only he were here to hold me.  
  
#And I don't like to turn the radio on  
  
Just to find I missed my favourite song  
  
And I don't like to be the last with the news  
  
But I do love you  
  
But I do love you#  
  
Does he feel the way I do now, when I'm on missions? Do I do to him what he does to me? Does he understand these feelings I do not, the pain of missing another, Does he feel for me as I feel for him? The way I feel from him is love, yes that is it, it is love. I never have told him that, that I love him. I'm sure he knows I do, I show it to him every time I pour my heart out to him, every time I let down my barriers, the ones no-one else sees behind. I'm sure I even show it in my eyes, the way I'm sure I can see it in his.  
  
He understands, he knows and he can wait, he is so patient. Fine something's he can't wait for, like the bus, or the queue for McDonalds, but he always waits for the important things, well those types of things. Maybe when I'm gone though he is as impatient for my return as I currently am for his. I lean on the barrier top, peering down at the sea below. I sigh, closing my eyes as I feel the rain pelt down on me. My hair and top are both soaked, as is the denim jacket.  
  
I don't care, I barely notice it much. What I do notice is when the rain suddenly stops pouring down on to me, yet I can still hear it all around me. I open my eyes and look up to see and black umbrella hovering over my head, then turn around to face an amazing pair of eyes, striking cobalt blue, clouded with purple to give them an almost unearthly look to them. I smile slightly as I am pulled in to a fierce hug, which I myself return with as much eagerness.  
  
#Love everything about the way you're loving me  
  
The way you lay your head upon my shoulder when you sleep  
  
And I love to kiss you in the rain  
  
I love everything you do, oh I do #  
  
"You're soaked!" He exclaimed as he pulled away, worry now clouding his eyes, "How long have you been out here?"  
  
"I don't know, since 2.20 about." I shrugged sheepishly, water from my hair dripping off it and down my face.  
  
"You've been out in this with no umbrella or anything for over an hour. Kami, what were you thinking?"  
  
"I was trying not to." I replied as we began to walk back, now I was thinking that it was kinda cold. "When did you get back?"  
  
"Just now, I noticed you weren't there and guessed you'd gone for a walk, and to think everyone thought I was the insane one." He joked, I merely glared, however with no hate behind it, as I began to shiver.  
  
"Baka." He scolded placing an arm around me, holding me to his warm body, I let out a small sigh of content.  
  
Eventually we arrived back, and as ordered I took a quick shower to warm me up, then slipped in to a clean, dry pair of shorts, and a tank top. When I entered the bedroom he was sitting on our bed waiting patiently. I sat beside him and was pulled in to his grasp a moment later. He kissed the tip of my nose softly, taking me with him as he laid down and got comfortable.  
  
"So why were you out in the rain?" He asked, running his fingers through my now clean and dry hair.  
  
"I couldn't sleep." I replied snuggling closer to his form.  
  
"Why?" He asked tilting me head to face his.  
  
"I missed you to much." I whispered softly, "Because I love you. I'm sorry I never told you."  
  
"I knew. Besides you did tell me, I saw it in your eyes. Plus you know you sometimes talk in your sleep." He grinned and winked at me playfully. "Its nice of you to say it anyway though, when you're awake too. Kami you've changed so much."  
  
"I know, thank you. I love being human again, it feels so good most of the time, other than the pain I feel when your not here, but when you come back I feel so happy its all worth it."  
  
"Its okay, we make each other happy, its how its supposed to be, right?" He asked looking at me; his beautiful face so close to my own. I nodded, placing my arm around his neck and pulling him down so our lips met, and mine brushed softly against his. I pulled away and looked in to his eyes, seeing all the love that was there. Again I felt safe, and put my arms around him and closed my eyes, smiling content as we began to fall asleep in each other's arms. Before I was fully taken by my subconscious I whispered to him softly. "Ashiteru Duo-kun."  
  
#And I don't like to be alone at night  
  
And I don't like to hear I'm wrong when I'm right  
  
And I don't like to have the rain on my shoes  
  
But I do love you  
  
But I do love you  
  
But I do love you  
  
But I do love you#  
  
~OWARI~  
  
AN- How was that? Kami it feels like months since I last wrote something (that's been good enough to post), its only been like 2 weeks maybe. Oh well I really hope you liked this, I have to go back to school tomorrow! So yeah. Btw Kami is god encase you've forgotten. Okay I'll try to write a good one soon. Ja ne- Akumu 


End file.
